Re-hire Me, Please
September 20, 2011
To all my employers:
Yes, I know now that I applied for this position with too little experience and even less competence. And I know that my performance has been a disappointment to a lot of you… okay, most of you.
But it is with hope, bordering on great confidence, that I can now assure you: Not only have I learned a lot from my mistakes, there are going to be improvements – big ones – they are coming any day now.
Every week or so, I am learning a lot more.
Yes, I know that 31 months and 3 weeks on the job was a long time to wait for improvement, but when you think about it… it really was only 26 months when adjusted for my training and vacations.
Now that I am finally ready, I really need another couple of years, at least, to begin to deliver some improved results.
So please rehire me when my contract runs out. You probably won’t be sorry.
B (POTUS) O
Copyright 2011 by jay b Gaskill, as published on The Policy Think Site and its linked Blogs. Forwarded links to this piece are welcomed with appropriate credit. Reprinting requires the author’s permission.
This letter was not actually written by anyone that the author actually knows. Any resemblance to reality is the product of parodic synchronicity or mean spirited common sense.
The author, believe it or not, is a lawyer. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org